Have you ever noticed when someone wants to sound smart, they’ll say it’s worth noting…? Well, it’s worth noting that my door’s always open, by which I mean it’s never closed, leaving me vulnerable to all manner of incursion.
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Have you ever noticed when someone wants to sound smart, they’ll say it’s worth noting…? Well, it’s worth noting that my door’s always open, by which I mean it’s never closed, leaving me vulnerable to all manner of incursion.
… More

A guy’s looking up at me, pointing down and mouthing “Jump.” But I ain’t jumping. I’m flying. And I’m about to show Dad how wrong he was.… More
A therapist I saw once told me that I got off on the pain of being horribly dispensable. But what she didn’t understand, what someone like her could never comprehend, was that this way of living was my only form of protection.… More
So, my ass is bleeding, and I’m not the adventurous sort. All I want is a normal day, but each wipe is a Japanese flag. A big red flag. Colon cancer took my mom’s life, but I don’t overreact. I probably underreact.… More
“Good friends, good food, good times. And accidental death.” Some products sell themselves.… More
“It’s not right!” Nicky said. “It’s not right! They love each other! I saw it! I saw it with my own eyes! They were going to be so beautiful, and they were going to be something great.” Then just like this, he said: “I’m gonna hurt him.”… More
Everybody knows there’s a relentless war on manhood. Your teacher’s mistake was thinking that men like us would sit back and let the world change without us, without our say so. We are men, Eric. We feel the facts like fire coursing through our veins.… More
I could see blood trickling down her right nostril. It streamed down her lips. Pooled in her cleft chin. Spread like cracks in broken glass down her neck in bright red streaks. And there was a funny rumbling in her throat too—something near a purr—what I took at the time as a sign of pleasure.… More
The other time, they just let her go because back then only one fellow student claimed Pamela pushed the Barbie look-alike into an oncoming car. The snitch was a Goth girl, smelled like dirt, and no one believed her. She was an attention seeker, with her purple-and-black hair.… More
Sometimes two dads become one & then they split into three & they’re being swallowed up by their own sea of dark blue t-shirts & hats & the tents fill up with contortionist dads & trampoline act dads & they all come back out of their tents & say hurry we’re going to miss the best thing.… More
Your hair smells like fire, he said at volume to his kid in McDonalds, but she was busy eating chicken nuggets and trying to work out if it’s okay to loathe your father.… More